I’m not big on my birthday. So when the ExBurgher’s one-year anniversary sort of came and went earlier this month, I wasn’t too concerned: Anniversary posts are usually pretty retarded, full of “this site has so much significance in my life here is a poem about it I feel like my blog is my sister” and “I love you all, readers, you complete me and had me at hello.”

Well fuck that noise. We started this site with no idea how to design for the web, a bunch of t-shirts and some ideas about stuff to write about football and baseball; basically, our parents read it and I figured we’d end up with 100 black dust rags. Now, we have no idea how to design for the web, a bunch of t-shirts and some ideas to write about football and baseball, and a couple people besides our parents read it. We also have less than 100 dust rags.

Since I never bother to update the archives, I figured this was a good time to give some of our non-parental readers what we did before you got here. So if you’re new—and if you’re not, hey Dad!—here’s a rundown of some of what we did along the way. Dr. Burgher called his selections “the essential ExBurgher,” but I like to think of it as some of the significant steps that brought us to where we are, where the site feels like my sister. God, kill me. At least that could have rhymed or something.

September 3, 2005: In the beginning, there was an Open Letter to Dave Littlefield...

October 27, 2006: The Theory of NFL Uniform Change: How New Clothes Make New Champions

Submitted by Dr. Burgher: Read and be amazed. I'm still pissed at Paul Lukas for blowing this off.

November 26, 2005: Dr. Burgher's "Skewering the Sports Guy": The Ron Jaworski Face

Submitted by Dr. Burgher: When we launched the site, I started out as the anti-Simmons and dedicated myself to critiquing him. At the time, I wasn't up to date on the number of bloggers who can't stand Bill Simmons and that busting on Simmons has become almost cliche as he is.

January 3, 2006: The Bengals got ready for a little "Payback."

Anybody can make jokes about Mel Gibson hating Jews. Only I can make jokes about how Mel Gibson is like Razor Ramon is like the Steelers. Also, Lucy Liu is horrible.

January 10, 2005: The original Tecmo preview: Steelers vs. Colts

Readers of the Phat Phree know that "Look at My Striped Shirt!" told just about everyone about their site, and made them popular. Dr. Burgher and I call this one our "striped shirt" moment: Anyone who's ever seen this site and isn't related to us, it's because of this.

January 18, 2006: Dr. Burgher asks Why the Colts Have an Offensive Coordinator.

This is sappy, but go to hell: More than anything else, this site is awesome because it helps my brother and I keep in touch. And when he turns in something that reads like a good column I'd read in the paper and email to him, well, it's even more awesome. I will resume being a jerk now.

January 24, 2006: The Day Lemieux Retired: Bye, Bye French Canadian Guy

Submitted by Dr. Burgher: Remember the old Scott Paulsen song about Lemeiux's first retirement? It's like that, but poignant.

January 31, 2006: Holy shit, we have an ad! And we predicted the future!

Like 28 seconds before Joey Porter went off on Jerramy Stevens on Super Bowl media day, Dr. Burgher posted this beauty ASKING HIM TO SAY SOMETHING CRAZY. Also, an ad. Whoa.

February 28, 2006: Tons of Fun for Everyone at Kings'!

Submitted by Dr. Burgher: Four guys + tons of ice cream + mystery toppings + a King's that hasn't been cleaned in ten years = hilarity and an undeniable urge to vomit.

March 28, 2006: ROBOTS!

Submitted by Dr. Burgher: When Skynet launches, don't say that you weren't warned.

April 19, 2006: How MLB.com (and the ExBurgher) got me Fired!

It's true. I got canned for this site.

May 18, 2006: Let's Buy the Bucs!

This one's near and dear to my heart: I've been touting this plan for the city of Pittsburgh to buy the Pirates for like six years. I REALLY think it could work. If you want to help get it started, I'm all ears. Via email, of course.

July 28, 2006: Who Should the Bucs Trade? Let the Yard Sale Begin.

I send my Dad a ton of stuff that I write for magazines before it goes to publish, and he always says the same thing, comments or not: "Very good, Greg." It's one of those stalwart, stand-by things I can count on. But when I wrote this, he told me it was his favorite thing I'd ever written. Which was pretty cool.

August 24, 2006: Dr. Burgher on the Pirates and Free Agency

One of my favorites from the Doc. Part of a two-parter with...

September 4, 2006: My Fantasy Bucs Squad

This one didn't stay up very long because I never update the bottom of the front page anymore, and this went up two days before the first Tecmo preview. Basically, if you like the Tecmos and baseball, you'll probably dig this one.

September 7, 2006: Tecmo Bowl Previews Week One.

Tecmo's probably the reason you're here. Hope you stick around. If not, we'll always have our mother.

---Greg and Dr. Burgher

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