So I’m a little depressed: The Bucs continue to struggle, Joey Porter might miss training camp, I’ve got an impending sense of doom about the Penguins chowing down on Kansas City barbecue and, oh yeah, I still don’t have a job (if you’re looking for an experienced writer/editor, well, um…yeah).

But anyway, I’m a little down. And nothing takes the edge off like living in the past. So I dug through my video collection for the good old days, looking for a time when the Pirates were good (and Barry was skinny), the Penguins were better and the Steelers were a year away from Cowher Power. I went looking for Pittsburgh sports glory, and I came out with…

And yeah, I found it. I found shots of Andy Van Slyke driving the ball, Jay Bell at the plate, and a bevy of Mario goals surrounding a baby Jagr and Lord Stanley’s Cup. And I felt good. But what made me feel even better was the feel of the whole thing: The short shorts, the sweet ‘staches and that “Welcome to the 90s” awesomeness that makes me figure that I should be running a 90s nostalgia site while I’m belting out “Freak ‘n You.” Or maybe I should let the ’91 Atlanta Falcons do the singing.

See? SEE? This video is like 60 minutes of sports “Hammer Time,” a major league time machine sweeping through the cosmos to Awesometown ’91. I love every minute of it (well, I LIKE the golf stuff, but I love the rest), starting from the very beginning, with Bret Saberhagen:

Yep, greasy hair and all, that’s him. He opens the video by telling me how I can change or renew my subscription, and he does it with a mullet that rocks me like a hurricane. And he starts one of my favorite trends on the tape: Guys I’d almost completely forgotten about, guys I remember who were a little different back in ’91. I mean, look: There’s Jeff Hostettler (I totally didn’t remember he played QB in the Super Bowl)! John Salley (in goggles)! Shawn Bradley (even skinner)! Runnin' Rebel Larry Johnson! Bobby Hurley (nice teeth)! Skinny Shaq (before he was the Big Aristotle and Pat O’Brien still pronounced his name “SHAAAAAH-keel”)! They all came rushing back to me, like a high school reunion with my old trading cards, complete with “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”

Look, it’s Art Shell, and he’s coaching the Raiders! And look over here: The Detroit Pistons are “smugly overconfident” as they struggle in the playoffs, ultimately losing to Michael Jordan and the Bulls. Of course, this was back when people wondered if Jordan could “ever win it all.” And it was also a time when it was a shocker for the Duke Blue Devils to win it all, as they did for the first time in 1991.

I mean, just look at Christian Laettner. He’s a hero. The world is his oyster. He’s got an unshakeable future as an NBA star, and he’s got the cool, slick hair of a man who knows all the angles.

Of course, we know what Laettner doesn’t, and that’s the beauty of the past: He doesn’t see the forthcoming years of wearing sweatbands while languishing on the Hawks’ bench, just as John Daly doesn’t know that his rookie major win isn’t the start of a Nicklaus-like run, Desmond Howard’s Heisman run doesn’t mean instant NFL success and Steve Avery doesn’t realize that his wild success as the NLCS MVP is, in a word, fleeting. And Carl Lewis’ then-world record 100m dash looks SLOW at 9.90, almost a quarter second off Justin Gatlin’s pace.

And watching Jordan break through with his first title against Magic, Worthy and the Lakers isn’t just awesome because it heads off the “Wait ‘til you see how this turns out” team. It also reminds me how much I LOVED basketball in the early 90s, and why: There’s Michael and Magic. There’s Hakeem! Dominique! Clyde the Glide! A pre-baby daddy Shawn Kemp! Piles of players that flew high and far in NBA Jam, who wore short shorts in wide-open offenses while being coached by younger looking greats and…Mike Dunleavy, too.

And of course, many of those players wore completely awesome, high-top fades. All right, I’ll bite: I basically wrote this whole post so I could get to the hair. Awesome, mile-high hair on guys like Randall Cunningham, Grant Hill, Leonard Marshall, Desmond Howard. Shaggy looks on Hostettler, Saberhagen and Jack Morris (and I know it isn't hair, but check out Twins catcher Greg Olson’s pride sweater). I could sit and type about these looks all day, but you’re better off just looking at the pictures, reveling in the locks, and loving the out-of-date--but still better than fur coats and snap-on gold teeth--looks. Ah, the good old days.