The Voices Inside My Head

Published on January 10, 2006 by Dr 'Burgher for the Ex-'Burgher.

Left brain: It was a nice win for the Steelers, but don’t get too excited. Taking down the Colts is going to be a big challenge, especially if the D repeats their first half performance.

Right brain: Whooooo-hoooooo! Go Steelers!

Left brain: I’m not kidding: relax. The Colts were easily the best team this season, and have been more consistent than anyone else.

Right brain: I got a feeling . . .

Left brain: Oh no, please stop.

Right brain: Pittsburgh’s goin’ to the Super Bowl! Here we go...dun...dundundunDUN!

Left brain: Be reasonable! This is not going to be some slam-dunk win for the Black and Gold. The Colts are for real.

Right brain: Why do you insist on being so coldly logical all of the time? Can’t you have some fun with the Steelers?

Left brain: I just don’t want a repeat of last season. You convinced me that the Steelers really were going to beat the Pats. What did we get for our trouble? A week of complete Steelers depression.

Right brain: But last year was different. This year the Steelers are rolling. The Colts are the ones who look vulnerable.

Left brain: Did you miss the first half against the Bengals? If the Steelers play like that again, they will be down by much more than three at the half.

Right brain: That was just some nervous energy. The guys worked it out of their system, and this week’s game should start smoothly. No problem. Steelers in a rout.

Left brain: A rout? Did you also miss how the Steelers lost the time of possession battle to the Bengals, or how they could barely run in the first half? If the Steelers are going to have any chance this week they need to be able to run the ball from the get-go.

Right brain: You can’t seriously believe in the Colts D. And you call me illogical!

Left brain: They did play well practically all season.

Right brain: So, by that logic, you also believe that Jake Plummer is a good quarterback. It’s still a Tony Dungy defense.

Left brain: I know, I know--having undersized players all through the defense should eventually catch up to them, but it hasn’t yet. Need I remind you that the Steelers could barely run against the Colts in November? The argument that the Steelers and their power running should crush a Dungy D makes sense, but recent events don’t match up with the theory.

Right brain: November doesn’t count. Marvel Smith got hurt in the first series, and Ben was very rusty after missing three games.

Left brain: But the Steelers only managed seven points.

Right brain: And even with the offense struggling, the D only gave up two touchdowns. It’s not like the Colts ran up and down the field all night.

Left brain: OK, so we assume that the offense plays well enough to score a few times and hold the ball for a reasonable amount of time. They still have to stop Peyton and his crazy chicken dance.

Right brain: No problem. It’s the playoffs.

Left brain: What exactly does that mean?

Right brain: Did you see Lil’ Eli last weekend? Obviously the Manning big game meltdown is a genetic thing. The Steelers forced one pick in the last game. Add in Peyton’s genes, and they are a cinch to pick off three passes.

Left brain: I’m not really comfortable pinning my hopes on bad genes.

Right brain: I have more where that came from. The Colts haven’t played a meaningful game in a month. They are going to come out looking like a college team on New Year’s Day: rusty.

Left brain: It worked for the Eagles last year.

Right brain: There is also the factor of the Unspeakable Event. Everybody thinks that you-know-what brought the Colts closer together. What if it didn’t? What if all of the players are sitting in the locker room crying every day? Maybe the Colts are in complete shambles right now.

Left brain: That’s mean . . . but intriguing.

Right brain: See, when you put it all together, the Steelers have to win. Peyton has never beaten a good opponent when it mattered: Florida, the Pats, and soon the Steelers. Dungy’s defense can’t hold up against the power rush game forever. The coach is crying on the inside. (And if the Pats win on Saturday night, every single Colts player will have the thought of a possible lurking in the back of their mind.)

Left brain: Sometimes you make a lot of sense.

Right brain: Last time, the Steelers got so far behind because of a freak penalty that set up a field goal before the half and the failed onside kick. Without those (and even with the bad offense) it’s only 16-7.

Left brain: Yeah! Add in some offense, and soon the Steelers are up 17-16.

Right brain: Now you’re making some sense. Go Steelers!

Left brain: Screw logical. The playoffs only come once a year. I got a feeling. PITTSBURGH’S GOIN’ TO THE SUPER BOWL!

----Dr 'Burgher

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